Further Reading

Have you ever wondered what may be the underlying reason that stops you being who you really are and achieving what you want to achieve in life? Many of us find ourselves questioning why we are making no progress in achieving what we know we need. Why does nothing really change in our world and why do we end up avoiding doing what we know would make all the difference to our lives right now? Often the answers to these questions lay beneath a layer of our consciousness that we do not access as we don’t know what questions to ask ourselves.

Inside us all there is a “knowing” that can create a spark, which can allow us to take a chance, a moment when, if we found the right person to help us, we could make those changes to our lives that would make such a difference. What often creates a need to avoid facing our feelings, what I call “stuck-ness”, which are our unrealised hopes, our fears and a constant feeling of defeat and therefore the sense of what is the point of trying to change, this is either a diagnosed or undiagnosed degree of depression.

Depression is a word many people want to either ignore, not discuss or get fed up hearing. The clue is in the name. What we try to forget gets suppressed out of our awareness and then it re-emerges in our difficulty to express what we feel. We then lose sight of what may be reasonable or possible in a need to internalise our feelings and this in turn serves to bury, forget and put out of our awareness any difficult emotions and events we do not want to think about. We think that if we give voice to these emotions they will overwhelm us and they have the power to destroy our very sense of who we think we are. This well-known condition or diagnosis, either clinical or psychological depression, has the ability to affect every area of our lives and our relationships impacting upon our emotional, mental, physical, social, academic and spiritual well-being.

Anxiety, is a healthy, natural response to alerting us to danger and this uncertainty can keep us alert and safe. Many people with depression experience exaggerated anxiety as a secondary condition in relation to depression. This is caused though negative thought patterns created through over-worrying and obsessive thinking, which consequently gives us a distorted perception of possible dangers and our true reality.

Challenging these thoughts and considering alternatives in a safe and welcoming environment enables us to begin to loosen the grips of a condition that can literally disable us and stop us from achieving accomplishments and reaching goals we had dreamed about. If left unchallenged, depression can leave us feeling more debilitated and further creates the perfect environment within your mind for a negative thought cycle to keep growing and filtering through to your everyday work and home lives.

Have you ever considered an alternative idea to escape depression instead of the devastatingly familiar exit stories we hear and read so much about? Increasing rates of suicide, thoughts of suicide, self-harm, dependency addictions such as work, alcohol, substances, sex, exercise, disharmonious relationships, ongoing loss and fluctuating weight concerns?

Well, if you found your way here and you are reading this now then maybe you can begin to trust that you found your way here for a reason. There is a different possibility, a healthier option to understanding and managing the effects of depression, mental health or the feelings of yearning for a life which is different to how you currently experience it. Can you imagine what would have happened if you had felt encouraged earlier, when you initially noticed signs of life not being quite how you imagined? Can you imagine if you had had the opportunity to challenge these thoughts and behaviours which could have just made the difference to some of the choices you made? I wonder what you imagine life could look like now?

As humans we like to make meaning and purpose out of adversity and difficulties. We somehow try to justify our actions and others actions toward us. Deep inside ourselves there is a knowing truth and a wish that it could have been easier, and different, if only we had known how, perhaps been more confident, more aware, stronger, able and courageous and not felt so alone. Well maybe this is the time. Some say we all carry our own inner truth and knowing within ourselves. Some say our soul whispers our truth to us all the time and all we need do is listen, so what gets in the way? In simple terms, we do. We literally sabotage our own happiness to please or control another or indeed ourselves. We feel trapped in situations, overburdened in trying to fix others’ lives whilst we may be falling apart ourselves yet still we feel compelled to be driven along this same route to the same destination hoping it will be somehow be different this time.

Einstein defined this type of condition as insanity. “To do the same thing over and over expecting different results”. I believe that it could be the definition of mental health, of our torment in the head, in one statement. Doing the same thing over and over again hoping it will be different. Yet how can it be different when we feel we have no control over decisions or choices and in what direction we want to go and where our destination may be, where we give up on our needs and what we want to achieve and give in to others.

These outdated patterns are often connected and embedded in outmoded childhood behaviours. At the time, these behaviours of a child caring for another served as a safety net. However, you are no longer that child, you are no longer the child that may have needed to sacrifice his or her needs or given up control of their life, you are now the adult that can change that way of being. You may at times still feel like that child emotionally, yet realistically you are an adult. This enables you to learn new ways to respond to situations you once felt compelled to repeat especially as you begin to see that everyone else’s problems are not your problems. This helps you realise that we are all capable of facing our problems with support and that each person has the opportunity to be happy and is responsible for their own wellbeing.

I believe every life is a life worth living. Everyone has the capacity to make the adjustments that allow them to experience a difference and begin recognising their abilities and worth. I am just here to help people along that path some of the way.

Now this is where I stop and you have the option to begin. I learnt long ago we can offer another support but we cannot make people want the same as ourselves until they recognise that truth in themselves. I cannot make you want to make life more manageable and acceptable but I can offer you that opportunity, once you make that decision for yourself. Ask if it is now or never? If not now then when? Am I at the point something has to change because I can no longer bare it as it is? Only you know your truth and all I ask is you trust your answer. If it is now, I very much look forward to being part of your journey towards a life worth living.

Never be afraid of just being you and speaking out. It is never too late to learn how to be your real self and not be silenced again.

Following an initial inquiry, a telephone consultation will be offered. This is an opportunity to speak in more detail to assess eligibility at the time and the need to monitor any risks. A disclaimer form will then be provided and signed to confirm any risks will be monitored and addressed and have been discussed in detail and responsibility agreed with the client.